So I have quite literally been feeling totally off rhythm for about two weeks now but I have been asking my self the question what exactly is my rhythm?
I Still haven’t found the answers but I do feel on my way to knowing what it is that makes me feel my best. So routine as I mentioned previously in one of my blog posts really does help me but I have realised that even if I stick to the routine sometimes your body needs something different and if lockdown has taught me anything it for sure is the art of listening to to your body. Sometimes stepping out of the routine and not feeling awful about it is okay, and something I am still working on. The last two weeks in particular I have not been on any routine as a few things just came my way that meant stepping outside my routine was the best option for my current situation but I battled in my mind with the looming guilt that I wasn’t doing enough or working hard enough in line with my routine. I also was just drained from simply daily tasks lacking mental energy to physic myself up to do basic things. You know how people talk about recognising your thoughts well yeah I had to do exactly this and whilst in the mist of quiet a negative and emotional time I just has to ride the wave a little bit and I made notes of the things that where making me feel the way I did. Uncomfortable yes it was but I made it to the other side and if you are currently feeling off rhythm or negative do not force fake positivity try to ride the wave and just recognise the things that are making you feel this way. You might not be able to change these things and for me that was the case with most of the things that I was getting negative or emotional about but what I learnt was that next time these things or the behaviours of those around me are the same or similar, I must re act differently. We are not going to feel super positive all the time even when we try our hardest and you know what that is okay because we have strength within us that will carry us to the other side.
I know this probably sounds like rambling because it’s kind of out of context but I’m not going to over share my personal life so I will just give an example to better explain things.
If you had a family member or friend who was moving away and you only had two weeks left to see them as regularly as you used to then it would be okay to just freeze things in your routine in order to make the most of the time left with that person.
But I know for some of you like me will battle with a looming guilt that this wasn’t I’m the plan and it can be crippling because we are in a mindset (well I was) that the routine I had created was so important. So what now? how do we better deal with these spontaneous events that crop up and throw us off routine. For me I am trying to accept that yes my routine is important but that it is a helpful element to my life not a crucial element and not to be so daym hard on myself for falling off once in a while. It's super hard well at least I have for sure found it hard. I also have really learnt the importance of journaling as I haven't done it in the past few weeks but as I sit here writing this blog post and reflecting on my actions, feelings and thought processes over the last few weeks I honestly feel human for the first time in a while.
So on that note I will be having a really good journal session and gratitude moment over the weekend along with setting myself some healthy targets for myself for the coming weeks. I am currently right in the middle of sampling spring/summer pieces and omg excited is not the word!!!!
So what will you dreamers be getting up to over the weekend?
Love, R x